


Mai Tais and cute boys

by Pansexualweirdo



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Aren't we all?, Attempt at Humor, Craig refers to Tweek as Kid despite the fact that they're the same age, Cute, Drabble, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Falling In Love, Feel-good, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, POV Craig Tucker, Pining, Pre-Slash, Romance, Tweek is a mess, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pansexualweirdo/pseuds/Pansexualweirdo
Summary: A short and sweet one-shot involving my favorite South Park boys having a meet-cute in a bar. Important to know is that they're both grown-ups here, no underage drinking in my tags! Also, I suck at titles. The fic ain't half bad though.Enjoy! <3
Relationships: Craig Tucker & Tweek Tweak, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86





	Mai Tais and cute boys

It’s a calm night at the bar, quiet, vacant. Soft jazz is playing from the speakers and the dim light from chandeliers reflects on the dozens of wine glasses hanging above Craig’s head. He’s sipping on a mai tai and following the game on a television in the corner with little interest.

It’s nice though, chilling out here. People leave Craig be, he leaves them be and together, they all drink in a companionable silence. Good drinks for cheap money. What better ways are there really to spend your Sunday night?

But then, there’s someone stumbling inside the bar and Craig catches sight of electric yellow hair.

Huh.

There’s an anxious-looking kid in here, eyes wide like saucers as if he’s trying to figure out if he’s in the right place. He’s the fidgety type, shoulders hunched and hands picking at the skin of his fingers. He seems even further frightened over the eyeful people are giving him, so Craig catches his eye and shoots him a small smile, in hope of silently reassuring him.

He’s been in the same boat once too, believe it or not.

When people lose interest over the lost kid standing there, they continue their respective conversations and finally, the kid moves. He’s short, clad in a plaid shirt that’s wrongly buttoned up. It’s oddly endearing.

Craig realizes he’s been looking in the stranger’s direction a little too long and returns his attention to the TV, where his team of preference is currently losing. _Well, shit._

What he doesn’t expect next is to have a lapful of rum and ice when the pretty stranger trips and knocks Craig’s drink out of his hand. Thankfully, Craig’s quick enough to catch not only the glass -- probably saving the poor kid’s first experience in a bar from being kicked out of it -- but the blonde as well.

Remarkably green eyes meet his, turning from confused to terrified once the guy registers what he’s done.

“GAH! I- I’m so sorry, sir!”

Up in an instant, he grabs paper towels from the counter and tries to fix the mess that is Craig’s shirt. He’s wiping and wiping and Craig grabs the stranger’s hand, gently, clearing his throat.

“I’m really really sorry, let me help-”

“It’s all right, dude. Calm down.” he laughs, but despite saying that, the blonde still looks like he’s scared to get killed.

Maybe it’s because of all the people staring? Craig silently wills them to go back to their business, his middle finger itching. People have to be so curious nowadays.

“God, I’m such a clutz.”

He’s burying his face in his hands and Craig gives his shirt a once-over. It’s not _too_ bad. Yeah, the fabric is definitely sticking to his skin from the sugary substance, but he’s more amused than mad.

“Maybe, but it’s okay.” he assures the kid, who’s pulling out his wallet, hands shaky. He almost drops the thing, and Craig quietly takes note of the brightly colored band-aids covering his hands and fingers.

“L- Let me buy you another drink, please.”

He looks desperate. Craig cracks him a smile.

“I’d like that, actually, thank you. I’m Craig. Craig Tucker.”

He extends his hand out and there’s a moment of nervous hesitation before the blonde shakes it.

“Er,... Tweek. Tweek Tweak. M- My name, that is.”

 _Cute_.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Y- You too. I wish I could’ve given you a better first impression, though, hahah.”

He takes a seat on the barstool next to Craig’s, stuttering out his order to the bartender. The gleam of emerald in his eyes is accentuated by the lighting in the pub and Craig finds it difficult to look away from him.

“First time, huh?”

“W- What?!”

Tweek whips his head around to look at Craig so fast the brunette is worried his neck might snap. His face is red.

“At a _bar_. It’s your first time at a bar, right?”

Jesus, Craig, way to put him on the spot. Like the guy wasn’t a nervous wreck already, and now you’re asking his first time?

“I- It’s that obvious, huh?” Tweek asks, looking down at the counter.

“A little.”

“Hah, I guess it is my first time. I- uh... ” he begins, trails off.

Even when speaking in a lower octave, his voice is laced with a brittle vulnerability.

“I’m not in a very great place right now...”

Craig frowns.

“I’m sorry.”

“N- No, don’t be! It’s okay, I’m sure things’ll get better... eventually... People drink when they’re troubled, don’t they?”

But then there’s a look of horror striking his features, and Craig can tell the blonde’s scared he has offended him.

“That, they do.”

Tweek closes his mouth again, picking at a pink band-aid on his pointy. Their drinks are slid over and Craig’s brow raises when he sees the mai tai set out in his space.

“You-... You knew what drink I wanted." he says, at a loss for better words.

It’s... strangely flattering? Tweek shoots him a darling smile and Craig thinks he’s never seen anything so bright. He might need sunshades.

“Well, yeah. I noticed you when I came in, you were biting on your straw.”

“Uuuh- not in a w- weird way, I just happened to see what you were drinking and-...”

He’s backtracking now, cheeks bright red with embarrassment and it’s too much to demand of Craig not to laugh.

“Didn’t think it was weird, don’t worry.”

Then he debates if it would sound ridiculing if he asked, but since Tweek hasn’t touched his drink...

“Ahh, you have drank before, right?”

The blonde looks at him for a loooong moment.

“I-... Of course I have!”

 _Oh, really?_ Craig thinks, but remains silent, nodding for the blonde to take a swig from his drink.

Tweek glances over at his glass as if it has personally offended him and Craig is about to tell him that he doesn’t actually _have_ to drink when Tweek throws it back and starts coughing violently.

There’s something bubbling up inside of him and Craig can’t help but laugh, despite himself.

“H- Heyy-... Don’t laugh..” Tweek manages between coughing fits, looking betrayed and Craig doubles over, almost falling off his stool before he succeeds in sitting back up.

People are staring, but Craig can’t afford to care.

“Oh, wow. Tweek, you are a treasure.” he decides, wiping tears, and there’s a darkness dusting the blonde’s face that’s spreading to his ears and neck.

“I- I’m not a regular drinker, okay?”

“Yeah, clearly,” Craig responds wittily, all smiles.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was some kid who doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing half the time!”

Rambling, the blonde is growing more agitated by the second, so Craig puts a hand over his to quiet him. Tweek immediately shuts up.

“Hey, I don’t. You don’t need to worry so much about what I think. You can’t do much worse than spill my drink and trip over me, right?”

He hopes his tone and the wink he sends it with gets his message across. Tweek’s positively gushing when he stammers his answer.

“R- Right.”

* * *

Craig ends up chatting with Tweek over a couple more drinks, buying the next round for them and most rounds after that one.

He insists, of course, despite Tweek’s whining of protest, that he can pay. He is a gentleman, after all.

He finds out he and Tweek have quite a lot in common, like avoiding people and pulling all-nighters on the PlayStation. Craig feels like a kid again, and despite Tweek’s nervous wreck of a personality — that Craig can’t exactly say he dislikes, either —, it’s easy to talk to him. He’s cute, listens and when he laughs at Craig’s crappy jokes, the corners of his eyes crinkle.

Craig doesn’t think they’ve been sitting here for very long, but now people are starting to clear out and the bartender is wiping off the counter, taking the pairs’ - long since abandoned - glasses away. Craig glances over at the wall clock.

Holy shit, it’s 2 am. When did that happen? How?

Tweek’s in the middle of a story about how he used to run his parents’ coffee shop, when Craig leans forward slightly, putting a finger to chapped lips. The blonde quiets.

“As much as I’d love to hear the end of that story, Darling, I think you should have a look at the clock.” he gently murmurs, and the way Tweek’s face lights up like a Christmas tree does not go unnoticed.

But then Tweek realizes the time too, and he’s up in an instant.

“GAH! H- How’s it morning already?! I’ve gotta get to work at six! Goddamnit...” he mumbles that last part to himself and they both finally take their leave after wishing the bartender a good night.

Tweek’s swaying a little when he stumbles out onto the sidewalk. Craig is there for his aid with little hesitation.

“Hey, easy, Tweek. How about I call you a taxi?”

His arms wind around the other’s slim waist by instinct and Tweek’s side is warm against his.

“N- No, that’s okay. I- I live just down the street, I can walk.” he hiccups.

Craig’s definitely not comfortable sending the kid home by himself, so he’s quiet for a moment.

“Then why don’t I follow you home? I wanna make sure you get back safely.”

Tweek doesn’t meet his eyes, his face flushed, and Craig smiles. He can’t count how many times he’s made the blonde blush this night.

He doesn't dislike it.

“O... kay... I- I appreciate that, thank you.”

“No worries.”

The walk to Tweek’s house is a little too short for Craig’s taste, he would’ve liked being even closer to the blonde. But at least he knows the guy will be alright. Tweek points to a cramped apartment building and they come to a stop outside the door to the stairwell.

“T- This is me. It’s nothing grand or anything, b- but it works for me.”

“Looks pretty much like my apartment. I’m actually only a couple of blocks away from here.” he says, trivial, though he’s secretly overjoyed they live so close by one another. That means the probability of seeing Tweek again is relatively high.

“R- Really?”

“Yeah.”

“T- Then you’ll get home safe too?” he asks, and Craig has to restrain himself with nearly every atom in his body from kissing the daylight out of him right then and there.

He shoots Tweek a wide grin, one he’s had reserved for him all night.

“I’ll be fine, Sugar.”

He’s not quite sure if the nicknames come out naturally or because he’s wasted, but he’s sober enough to know that Tweek is pretty and that he’d like to make the guy blush like that every day.

He _also_ knows he gets incredibly fucking sappy when he drinks.

“O- Okay. I should get up.”

Right, now’s Craig’s chance! He has to get his number. Or Instagram, or _something_.

“Oh, and a tip? You’re gonna have one helluva hangover tomorrow, so I recommend having ibuprofen and water ready. _Lots_ of water.”

“Th- thanks.”

Tweek bows his head sheepishly and Craig has just about found a way to ask Tweek out without embarrassing himself when Tweek’s opening the door.

“I- I guess I’ll see you around...” he says and leans forward, pressing a kiss to Craig’s cheek and squeezing his hand.

He fucking beat Craig to it. Craig’s at a loss for words.

“...Craig.” Tweek finishes, pulling back with a gentle smile. He then flushes impossibly red, mumbling a goodnight and running up the staircase, the door clicking shut behind him.

Craig touches his cheek, blinking with his mouth agape as his drunken mind processes what the fuck just happened. Shit. He didn’t get Tweek’s number, either. The one thing he was supposed to get and- Clenching his fist, Craig hears something crinkle in his palm and he finds that Tweek had pressed a note into his hand when kissing him.

He unfolds it and can’t help but smile, a smile that reaches his eyes and warms his heart.

_“Call me whenever you’d like <3 Tweek - 120-123 69 XX”_


End file.
